What is the Holy Splash?
It is the only true baptism. Blessed by a real doctor and an internet reverend. Bottled in Oregon, where the water is naturally unfluoridated and free from government nanobots.
How does it work?
You buy a bottle. You bless yourself. You become splashed. It's that simple. No belief required. No repentance needed. Just water.
Why Portland water?
Because it's the only water in America that hasn't been corrupted by the state. Oregon has refused to fluoridate its water four times. It is the promised land.
$69.69